Is Bamboo Yummy?

Welcome to the world of blogging! There should be a welcome wagon gift or something signifying that you do indeed think so much of yourself that you wish to share untold wisdom with the masses.

Well, here it is. 

"Mommy, is bamboo yummy?"

Ummmmm. Before I can begin to answer this question, I need to ask a few of my own; you know, for context! So, WHY?! Are you planning a bamboo buffet? Did you find some under the couch among all the other long lost and runaway things? Did a stranger offer you some? Are you slowly morphing into a panda and concerned about the diet? WHAT?!

K, so upon further investigation, the question stemmed from a very nature-of-things-esque short on those fantastic kids channels about pandas. Ok. So, to answer your question.

"People don't eat bamboo, but animals do. They probably wouldn't eat it if it was yucky."

Good. That's done. Now to finish the dishes.

"Why don't people eat bamboo?"

Oh boy. Now the wheels start turning. What do I say to stall this line of questioning in a timely manner so I can get back to my beloved dirty dishes?

"Because the pandas need the bamboo for their food. We have hot dogs."

That should hold her.

"We could share with the pandas."

REALLY!?

Now this has become a lesson in animal science, human anatomy, and proper social interaction with black and white animals. Awesome. I always imagined myself as one of those, always-gives-the-real-explanation-no-matter-how-time-consuming-or-irritating kind of moms but I think the only people strong enough to do that full time probably could also stomach bamboo! Well, here goes.

"Well my beautifully intelligent three-year-old, people don't eat bamboo because it's not really right for our stomachs. God made our stomachs to eat other foods and he made pandas' stomachs to eat bamboo. I'm sure they would love to share but they shouldn't eat hot dogs and you shouldn't eat bamboo."

*hold breath and wait*

"Ok."

*release breath*

"Mommy, how do you know if it's a boy panda or a girl panda? None of them have pig tails."

AAAGHHHHH!

Here is where I am thankful my kids know the difference between human boys and human girls because my dish water is getting cold.

"The same way you know if you are a girl or a boy."

"Ok. I'm going watch the show now, Mommy. If I have more questions, I'll ask Daddy."

So not only is my dish water thoroughly tepid but all my effort was for naught. My answers did not satisfy, no matter how truthful and thought out. If Daddy is the final destination anyway, I am giving the "Because I said so!" or "God made it that way!" response. See what that does.

Now, off to add "check under couch for stray pandas" to my to-do list. Howcomethat dishes don't do themselves?