What "Happily Ever After" looks like in the middle.

I was struck today by the drastic nature of the communication shift within my marriage since having children. What struck me, specifically?

"Not to worry, Honey. It was just one of those turtle-ing moments when it's starting to come out but you hold it in and run screaming. Not a major mess."

If you don't know what I am referring to, you've never had children.

WHAT HAPPENED??!!

I promise you, no words even REMOTELY resembling the above would ever had been uttered in conversation with my beloved 9 years ago.

9 years has flown by...

Some examples:

Sunday afternoon:

BEFORE
"I loved the part of the sermon about loving your neighbour. Maybe the whole baseball bat vs. mailbox thing was a bad idea."

AFTER
"I think I may have forgotten a dirty diaper on the pulpit. I hope the cleaning lady will find it."

9:00 PM Friday night

BEFORE
"Wanna go to Boston Pizza?"

AFTER
"So, wanna.......ummmmm.....(insert own slang here)......or just go to bed?"

6:00 PM Wednesday

BEFORE
"How was your day? I had the most amazing sandwich for lunch today at Subway!"

AFTER
"What do you mean, 'Won't be home by bedtime?'" (or insert above quote)



I will say it again: WHAT HAPPENED??!!

The picture has changed somewhat. 

This is unacceptable. I can't remember the last conversation I had with my husband that did not include the words: diaper, barf, poop, tantrum, or boogers. Romantic.

Somewhere between "I do!" and "Welcome baby!" we've become excrement obsessed, home-bound, old people.

Not ok.

"Date Night" now consists of dropping the kids off at the Grandparents and quickly zipping 15 minutes away to Steinbach to have supper and zipping back for bedtime. Since this usually means a choice of 2 restaurants......we don't get out much.

On the upside, we saw a sign in Steinbach the other day:

Coming Soon: Boston Pizza. Opening 2012.

My husband couldn't contain his excitement, "YAY! We can date again!!!"

This, my friends is where we are. Come to Boston Pizza on opening night and you can bet we will be standing in line for the doors to open. If talk of bodily fluids makes you uncomfortable, find another table, it's all we have to talk about. But don't worry, we won't be there long. Bedtime is at 8.